Looking back and forward

What awaits me?

Last Wednesday I spent a few hours going through my journals, trying to see what was going on in my interior life. Yesterday, I decided to look at the past year and the coming one, in terms of what I do. 

Last year was not easy, but I realized that I really am called to accompany those at the margins. I also realized that I am, in some ways a hermit at heart. It’s not that I don’t love to be with friends, but I am learning to live in solitude.

I also found myself doing a lot of reading and taking a few advantages of on-line study programs. I got to learn a little about Zoom – with an online Spanish class, a four week seminar on Abuse in families, a clergy study week on sexual abuse, weekly meetings of an on-line base community (in Spanish) facilitated by Maryknoll, as well as a few other meetings. I also talked with some friends over Skype. I even managed to meet a few times with my spiritual director over Skype. 

The pandemic and the lockdown started in mid-March. I had originally planned to attend a permanent deacon meeting in Germany in March, but it was canceled. I had also planned to visit Dachau and Chartres, two places of pilgrimage for me. But it was not to be. Supposedly, there will be a meeting in Barcelona in September 2021. 

I stayed at home for the first three or four months, only going out for supplies or for essential ministerial responsibilities. I had envisioned Holy Week as a personal retreat, but I spent three days going with young people working with the local municipality, taking provisions to people in the villages. I did spend the last three days in quiet. 

Our parish usually has an all-night Pentecost Vigil in one of the parish communities, but, since this was cancelled, I spent several hours meditating on the Vigil readings.

In July, when the Honduran Bishops Conference had established guidelines for celebrations, I began presiding at Sunday Celebrations here in Plan Grande, but I avoided going to Masses (partly because of travel restrictions) until September.

Yet I found myself at several funerals.

The week before the pandemic lockdown happened, I was asked to go to a community for a funeral. As often happens here, the funeral was in the home of the family of the deceased. During the pandemic, I ended up presiding at funerals at least seven times – one newborn, one three month old, a young man shot and killed, an older man and a few weeks later his son, an elderly woman whose daughter had been killed about two weeks before, a middle-aged man, and a 97 year old man. I also assisted at several funeral Masses, including a recent funeral of a 36 year old woman who died of cancer, leaving behind four children.

Surprisingly, a fair number of couples were in preparation for marriage before the pandemic started. I had more than ten pre-matrimonial interviews, many of which were in the couples’ villages, since transportation is a problem. I visited a number of the couples, including some who had not been baptized. I ended up baptizing four persons before their celebrations of the sacrament of matrimony. I assisted at several of the Masses.

In one village there were five couples who got married. They had been meeting before they began their preparation and it was a joy to accompany them

In another village, there was a couple that had begun preparations in March. The pandemic put this to a stop but, more seriously, the husband who had struck his head a few years ago, suffered serious cerebral complications and, unless he had Ensure he was not able to get out of bed. I visited them and we decided to go ahead with the wedding, but there was one complication. He was not baptized. And so, the pastor sent me out to baptize him. A few days later they were joined in Holy Matrimony, with their three children present.

We had a number of catechumens who would have been baptized at the Easter Vigil. I visited with seven of them in San Agustin and one in a nearby village and later baptized them. This is not the normal route, but in times of pandemic and hurricanes, the pastoral concern is primary. I also take masks along with me which I freely distribute.

I haven’t visited the sick as much as I used to, partly because I was trying to be careful, with my health and the health of others. This year I have to find a well to visit the sick much more.

As I mentioned, during the height of the pandemic I helped to take supplies to villages with the local municipality. Padre German and I went, partly to provide another vehicle, but also to try to make sure that the neediest were not neglected. We did this twice.

After the hurricanes, we have also been going out, with supplies donated by people in Dulce Nombre, Santa Rosa, Tegucigalpa, and Madrid, Spain. I have gone out with others several times and several times have brought supplies alone. At least once, I got stuck in the mud! I also went with others, including Fernando, the newly ordained (transitional deacon, to distribute provisions and clothing that had been donated.

There are several other ways I sought to help those in need. 

After a terrible killing of a young woman in a distant village, I arranged for family members to visit with psychologists from the Santa Rosa office of Caritas. The first time I took the two young women psychologists to the village (about one and a half hours from Santa Rosa), but later we arranged for the family member to come to Dulce Nombre and I brought the psychologists in from Santa Rosa (only half an hour each way.) This experience only made it more evident to me that psychological assistance is a great need of people in our parish, partly because of the presence of violence and abuse in the Honduran society.

Our parish has a fund to subsidize medical costs when the families don’t have the resources. I’ve used this several times. 

We have a parish car to transport the ill to hospitals and clinics and it is being well-used. But on Christmas eve, the driver was unavailable and so I ended up bringing someone home from the Santa Rosa hospital. I managed to get to the Christmas Mass, where I ended up preaching.

When our pastor went to visit his family in October, he left the seminarian and me to cover the Saint Francis day celebrations – I ended up with four on October 4, but I managed to slip out after the last one to meet with the Dubuque Franciscan sisters in Gracias. I only saw them three times this year, though we’ve been in contact by phone and e-mail. It’s been hard, since they are an important source of emotional and spiritual support – real friends. But we did have a great Christmas dinner at the home of Sister Nancy in La Entrada. (By the way, dinner is the mid-day meal according to Iowa usage.)

Three seminarians have been doing pastoral work in parishes in the diocese, including one in Dulce Nombre. They were ordained (transitional) deacons in December and I participated in the three ordination Masses.

I am now doing some visiting of villages for Sunday celebrations as well as trying to attend at least one of the Masses in the parish. When I go to Mass, the pastor almost always has me preach. 

We have suspended much of our formation of pastoral leaders, though we hope to begin some this year, probably small sessions in each of the eleven sectors of the parish. Many people are anxious to begin again. They have had Sunday Celebrations of the Word for several months, but we have been very careful in terms of religious education in the communities. We will have to look at this carefully and perhaps make decisions related to the situation of the community. 

COVID-19 has affected several places in the parish, though most of the countryside has been spared. But the hurricanes have affected many areas – with loss of houses, roads caved in or blocked by landslides, houses in danger, communities isolated, and infrastructure damaged. We’ve tried to respond, but the major effort will be rebuilding. I will be working on this, together with the transitional deacon in the parish. Next week we will meet with one community that has been devastated and may have to relocate.

I also ended up working for three months with Alejandro Carbajal, the artist who painted an incredible mural for our parish church. I plan to write more about this marvelous mural that graces the church.

I also found myself sustained by the beauty of the world around me and took many photos. I got to appreciate the different light at different times of the day and the oriole that occasionally visits my house.

I also read a lot and did watch one movie (on the computer), A Hidden Life, on the Austrian martyr Blessed Franz Jägerstätter, who was executed for refusing to erve in Hitler's army. I recommend it (and recommend reading his letters.) I did a lot of reading from mystery novels to theological works (including Yves Congar's Power and Poverty in the Church, from books of spirituality (Henri Nouwen, Timothy Radcliffe, Metropolitan Anthony Bloom, Thomas Merton, Caryll Houselander, and more), from Albert Camus's The Plague to biographies of Dorothy Day, Solanus Casey, and Charles de Foucauld, as well as Jim Forest's memoir, Writing Straight with Crooked Lines, from books on nonviolence (John Paul Lederach) to books on preaching (including Ann Garrido amd Joshua Whitfield). I began Joe Laramie's Abide in the Heart of Christ; A 10-Day Personal Retreat with St. Ignatius Loyola a few days before the pandemic lockdown; I'm sure it helped me. I read a bit on the diaconate; a collection of Pope Francis's writing was helpful but I was disappointed with a new book on diaconal spirituality, which seemed too spiritualized. In my efforts to try to figure out a spirituality of a celibate deacon I found writings of Henri Nouwen and Donald Cozzens helpful.

As I look back I realize that, in all this, I have learned how much contact with the suffering and the marginalized is my calling. I am amazed how I so often, without thinking, find myself reaching out to those one the margins – the guys at the doors of the churches, the coffee pickers who show up at celebrations here in Plan Grande. I also find myself seeking out those grieving. I probably am violating protocols, but how often at funerals I find myself talking with and putting my arm around those who have lost loved ones.

As we remember this Christmastime the One who drew near to us, was born among the poor, and who walked with the neglected and marginalized, I find myself called to renew my commitment to serve them, to accompany them, and to help them grow into the persons and communities that God wants them to be. I thank God I am here. 

It’s a marvelous gift – that I never expected.

Grace abounds

The last two weeks have been times of grace for me, despite difficult situations and the pandemic and hurricane. Here are some photos.

Travel has been tricky – and the pastor’s car got stuck in a cemetery on All Souls Day. 

I had the power steering belt changed on my pickup on Wednesday. This is what some of the roads look like, if you wonder why I have so many repairs.

There was the grave-side service on October 30 in Dulce Nombre of a young man who died of electrocution at work. 

There was the baptism on October 31 of a young man who needs a fourth operation for cerebral blood coagulation.

There was the All Souls Day Mass at the cemetery in Joyas Galanas (where I preached). HEre's a picture of the pastor with Fernando, the seminarian who's with us this year. 

There was the wedding of a young couple in Descansadero, last Thursday, November 5. 

There were the baptisms of four kids, ages 11 months to six years, in San Agustín, on Saturday, November 7. 

There was the joy of seeing that the church in San Agustín is collecting food stuffs and materials for the victims of the earthquake. One family donated four sacks of corn. 

And there has been my continuing amazement at the work on the murals in the parish church – with the mural of Saint Lawrence the deacon almost finished. 

 God is good.

And the sun came out for a time yesterday.

The pastor is gone and the deacon is....

When the cat’s away, the mice will play.

But when the pastor is gone, the deacon is Juan.

Our pastor, Padre German Navarro, has been away since last Tuesday and won’t return until next Wednesday. It’s a break he really needed. So much fell on me.

However, this month is not as busy as most months. January is toward the end of the coffee harvest and so many people in our parish are going out to pick coffee berries six or seven days a week, usually earning from 25 to 30 lempiras ($1.02 to $1.22) a five-gallon bucket. Some good harvesters can pick seven to twelve buckets a day. It’s hard and dirty work. Some workers are trucked in on large cattle trucks; one I saw recently must have had more than sixty-five people jammed in. Since this is one of the few ways to earn cash, most people take advantage of these days. If we had meetings, I fear that few would come.

From February to November there are many more parish meetings – for catechists, for new catechists, for delegates of the Word and those aspiring to become delegates, triple ministry leaders from the villages, youth group leaders, communion ministers, social ministry leaders from the villages, and more.

But in January we only have had one major meeting – the meeting the delegates of the Word from all the towns and villages. The delegates of the Word are women and men who lead the Sunday celebrations in their communities. It was planned for Saturday January 25, from about 9 am to 2 pm. A week before our pastor informed me that I would have to do it all since he would be out of town. I ended up spending a few hours last week preparing; at least 93 showed up.

Tuesday and Wednesday the diocese had a meeting of priests ordained less than ten years. I’ve been invited and finally decided to go for part of the time. I have been reluctant to go since I am not a priest but a deacon. 

Tuesday was lunch and then the young priests were going to play soccer. I declined to play (age and bad weather) and went home. Wednesday I returned and went with them and the bishop to a place outside of Santa Rosa de Copán. The bishop spoke and we had lunch. I talked to the bishop about a conference on the permanent diaconate in Germany in March and we briefly talked about the future of the permanent diaconate. He’s the bishop in charge of priestly matters for the bishops’ conference and so is involved in the negotiations with the Vatican on the Honduran directory on the permanent diaconate. Then, in his presentation, he mentioned that as well as the importance of formation for the transitional deacons. He seems to want me to help in that!

At the meeting the bishop mentioned that there had been a break-in at the buildings of the Oblatas, the sisters who live in Dulce Nombre. The tabernacle had been broken into, hosts spilled on the floor, and the ciborium taken. I talked a bit with him and in the afternoon went to talk with the sisters. Sor Alba explained what had happened and we planned for a day of prayer in reparation.

On Thursday, we started with a Holy Hour, well-attended, at the place where the hosts had been spilled. I prepared some prayers and ended with Benediction and a procession to the little chapel which had the tabernacle that had been forced open. I exposed the Eucharist for Adoration, which lasted until about 6:45 pm.

I had hoped the bishop would help find us a priest for a Mass on Thursday evening, but that fell through. A visit to the bishop’s office and a few phone calls proved fruitless. So I went into Dulce Nombre for a Celebration of the Word with Communion in Casa Margarita, the sisters’ building.

Friday, I ended up going to San Antonio El Alto to visit the sick. It’s one of the few communities that don’t have a communion minister nearby and so I will be trying to visit every 4 or 6 weeks. I had planned to go on Monday, but I got a call at 6:30 am that the roads were really bad from all the rain; so we agreed that I would go on Friday. One of the delegates accompanied me and we visited five homes and I shared Communion with almost all of them. Finding joy in visiting the sick is one of the graces I have received from my diaconal ordination. I have to do it more.

In February I hope to visit San Agustín, San Antonio el Alto and the neighboring village of Granadillal. San Agustín, which is the center of a municipality, has only one communion minister and she has been experiencing some health problems. I went once in January and will go again in February. However, there are close to twenty sick or shut-ins in San Agustín and the neighboring village of Descombros. The communion ministers decided that we would have about eight communion ministers go on February 11, the Day of the Sick, to visit as many of the ill as we can. The local community will provide guides to take the ministers to the different homes. We’ll start with a prayer in the Eucharistic chapel in San Agustín. I am looking forward to this day.

Friday afternoon I finished preparing for the assembly of Delegates of the Word.

Saturday evening I went to Dolores for the evening Celebration of the Word with Communion. Sunday, I had a work-out: four Celebrations of the Word with Communion in fur different places. I don’t know how our pastor does this every weekend, since he usually has four Masses every Sunday and occasionally two more! But it is a blessing to be able to serve the people.

One of the surprises was the Celebration on Sunday morning in the chapel of San Antonio in Dulce Nombre. I’ve been there many times – sometimes for Mass and a few times for Celebrations of the Word with Communion. Sunday it was packed, with people standing. The other joy of celebrating together in San Antonio is that there is a choir of children. One of the parish musicians is working with these young people – and there is even one boy who is playing the guitar. It is wonderful to see such participation of children and young people.

Around the house, things are a little hectic. They are tearing down the building that was used for church meetings and building a new one. They didn’t tell me much and I am glad I was there when they started since they would have put the roof tiles in places which would have made my life a lot more difficult. I am not very good at responding immediately when there is something that affects my comfort; the sudden announcement by one person about where they would put the tiles and how the construction might make it difficult to park my car close to the house was a bit disconcerting, to say the least.

Monday, they cut down some trees near the house for the construction of a large building for meetings. They are supposed to finish taking down the old building this week – with heavy machinery! Lord, give me patience and trust!

This morning, I worked on the list of participants in the assembly of delegates last Saturday so that I can give the pastor an update.

I also went through some scholarship applications. For several years, the parish of St. Thomas Aquinas in Ames, Iowa, has been helping with partial scholarships for students participating in alternative educational opportunities locally. There is a program called Maestro en Casa, mostly for what the US would call middle school and high school. The students have classes on the weekend but there are workbooks and radio programs that help them prepare for the weekend classes. This year the demand has increased. There are centers of Maestro en Casa in four places in the parish. There were 92 requests from students entering seventh to ninth grade and 56 for students entering tenth to twelfth grade. The partial scholarship aid is more than five thousand dollars!

It might be helpful to know that there are two other opportunities, that I know of, that students in our parish are taking advantage of.

A group of sisters, mostly Central American and Asian, in a community founded by a priest from the US, have two boarding schools in the Tegucigalpa area for students entering seventh grade. The students get full board and tuition for five years. The program also has elements of learning skills and trades. The girls’ school has classes in swimming and, I think, have an Olympic-sized pool.  We have about thirty students from the parish in the two schools: Villa de Niñas y Villa de Niños.

There is also a program in La Entrada, Copán, a lot closer than Tegucigalpa, for male students. They live in rooms at the local parish and have some activities together, but they go to a local school. This year we have six young men from our parish in the program (which has only about 25 young men involved.) I know five of them!

It is great to see that there are more opportunities for young people to study. It’s a shame that the public schools are so poor and that many programs for high school are far from where many young people live.

Tomorrow I have a meeting of the diocesan Social Ministry. I am hoping that we can move forward on some of the priorities established at the diocesan pastoral assembly in November – including care for creation, working for pardon and reconciliation, and responding to returning migrants. On Saturday, I was supposed to go to a diocesan meeting of the Ministry of the Sick but I had to lead the Assembly for Delegates of the Word in the parish.

Wednesday I’ll be doing more work on the scholarships. The rest of the week I have enough to do – mostly preparing for two major meetings in the parish. On Wednesday February 5 we have an assembly of catechists, to start off the year. On Monday, February 10, we have a parish session for those involved in social ministry in the villages.

I’ll also be visiting villages on some Sunday mornings and accompanying the pastor at Mass on Sundays and on some major feast days. February 3 is the feast of Our Lady of Suyapa, the patroness of Honduras. There’s Mass here in Plan Grande at 10 am as well as in several other places.

I am also planning to go to San Pedro Sula (a three and half hour drive). I want to buy several cartons of crayons for the catechists in the villages. They will also be helpful for a new catechetical program which we’ll be beginning in several places in the parish.

I will make it a two day trip, probably staying overnight a Amigos de Jesús, an extraordinary home for kids.

Life is busy – and God is good. 

And the view from the other side of the house is magnificent.

Celebrating Dulce Nombre ... and more

Today, our parish celebrated its feast day, the Sweet Name of Mary – or, for more Anglo-Saxon sensitivities, the Holy Name of Mary.

Here celebrations of feast days of parishes, as well of patron saints of villages, are often preceded by nine days of prayers, a novena. Here different communities came to the main church to pray the rosary, followed by Mass.

Today, the celebration began with songs and fireworks at dawn. I slept in and stayed at home in Plan Grande and so didn’t participate, as I have in some precious years.

Before the Mass we had a procession, with a prominent place for the image of Mary from the Church.

People came from different villages in the parish, several with their images. I drove my car with bags of water for the people and so I had little chance to take photos. But I did take too of a new ritual. In the past a teacher from Dulce Nombre was responsible for the fireworks during the procession, but he is seriously ill. So one of the altar servers took over the responsibility. I guess there is a new ministry for acolytes: shooting off fireworks!

This was followed by a Mass in which six children from Dulce Nombre were baptized. Padre German asked me to baptize them. For me this is always a privilege, bringing new members into the Body of Christ. There were a few fidgety and crying kids, when I poured the baptismal waters over their heads.

Two weeks ago, we had confirmations int he parish. The bishop came and confirmed about 180 mostly young people in three places in our parish. Since I was responsible for coordinating the liturgies as well as serving as deacon at the Masses, I didn't take many photos. But here' are two from the Mass in Dulce Nombre. The first is of the bishop speaking to those who were to be confirmed.

The other is, if I may say so, awesome. As our pastor spoke to the confirmed after communion, I captured a moment when the sun came through the church door and was reflected on the new floor int he sanctuary. 

The past weeks have been hard on me. I’ve had two major repairs on the car – the axle casing (camisa) and one of the axle shafts (flecha), as well as the motor for one of the windows. 

I also had some continuing dental work (due to not going to the dentist for a few years). But the worst was serious stomach problems – including vomiting, acid reflux, and hiccups that had me worried one night. The next day I went to a private clinic and am recovering. Thanks be to God – and modern medicine.

One day last week two young priests came and we worked on the material for base communities for next year. This is the fourth year we’ve worked together. They are a delight to work with, though I think in a few things they defer to me (and suffer my poor Spanish.) This year I didn’t make lentil soup as I have other years. They had rice, broccoli, with gado gado sauce. (Gado gado is an Indonesian sauce with a peanut base, that I love. Though I often make my own recipe, this time I used a prepared block that an Indonesian friend who works at Villanova university gave me when I visited the east coast in March.)

This past Monday I had a training session for twenty-eight new catechists, mostly young people. They were good to work with and I hope they’ll persevere since many of the villages need more catechists and we need to welcome new young people into this ministry.

Last week I had two pre-marriage interviews back to back. The pastor does the initial interview; the couples receive their pre-marriage talks in their villages; I just do the interview with the couple and their witnesses – to try to avoid any problems. I am very happy that  we are experiencing more young people seeking marriage – some of them before living together!

I also had a funeral last Sunday. I had planned to visit the village of Agua Buena Dolores for a Sunday Celebration of the Word with Communion. I got a call Saturday evening telling me that a member of the community would be buried and so the celebration might be delayed. I mentioned that I’d be willing to do the funeral rites at the celebration early. At about 7 am on Sunday I got a call asking me to come as soon as possible to do the celebration and funeral rites. No problem.

For me, it seems rather strange that we sometimes have funerals on Sunday. But here there is almost no embalming and so the bodies have to be buried within 24 or 36 hours. But, in one sense, it makes sense that we have a funeral on a Sunday when needed, remembering that we are remembering the sharing of the deceased in the death and resurrection of the Lord and praying for the acceptance of the deceased in the Kingdom.

I was moved, as I often am at funerals, and make a special effort to connect with the family members – often just mentioning their names in the celebration. This time the challenge was to integrate some remarks on the passing of the deceased in the homily. I think it worked.

Next week we have a meeting of the social ministry. This time the director of the diocesan office of Caritas will be with us. We will also do some follow-up on our concerns about water and deforestation. Our idea is to do a major reforestation campaign for the first two weeks of October (connecting this with the feast of Saint Francis of Assisi on October 4). Some have told me that they have gotten saplings from various governmental bodies and are planning events. We’ll see how this goes. Another concern is the contamination of water. There are two major problems. The first is the water sources, usually springs. They often need to be protected and the reforestation will help this. The other problem is the contamination of streams by the run-off from the initial stages of the coffee production process. The de-pulped beans are soaked in water, but sometimes this water (called aguas mieles) flows into the streams. Some groups said they were going to evaluate the situation, talk with mayors, and try to generate projects to lessen the contamination.

Speaking of coffee production and contamination. Coffee has been sent to the US from the coffee association in El Zapote Santa Rosa. But I found out that, with the help of several international aid groups, they are finding ways to decrease the use of chemicals in production as well as to utilize the pulp and the aguas mieles for fertilizer.

The church in Dulce Nombre is being renovated. It needed to be painted but in the process of removing the stucco, we discovered that the two towers have some beautiful hand-hewn stones. The idea is to preserve them and treat them so that they can be seen – partly because these stones were gathered and hewn by members of Dulce Nombre fifty years ago.

We are also renovating the interior of the church, removing a large retablo and simplifying the sanctuary. I had an idea that I shared with the pastor to have a mural painted on the apse. Next week we will be speaking to a prospective artist.

One big event coming up, that I’ll write about later, is our sending of missionaries to another parish in October. For the last few years, parishioners have gone on mission to different communities in the parish, but this will be different. We’ve had some trainings and we’ll have another next week.

There is much more to write about – especially in terms of the continuing poverty and challenges that our people face, in the light of massive corruption, possible links between political leaders and drug trafficking, and incompetence in judicial affairs and in the infrastructure. Just a few days ago a major portion of the international highway between Santa Rosa de Copán and Cucuyagua caved in. That means that travel between the Guatemalan and Salvadoran borders and the major city of San Pedro Sula and the Caribbean port of Puerto Cortez was stopped and is greatly restricted, or had to be diverted through Guatemala.

More on this later. 

But, for now, a few more images of what I experience.

The kids at the school in Plan Grande celebrated the Day of the Child with a carrera de cintas.

The morning often brings incredible vistas:

And the flowers in the garden continue to amaze me, like this hibiscus: