Death, life, and hope

Yesterday I presided at my third funeral in two weeks. Monday, I had interviews with two couples who will soon be married. Sunday morning, I visited a nearby village, brought communion to a 90 some year old woman and, in the afternoon, I baptized nine young children here in Plan Grande. Yesterday was the first of six workshops I’m facilitating in different parts of the parish to help the communities organize and prepare for any natural disasters. 

But yesterday’s funeral touched me in a different way. 

The woman died after a year of suffering. She had lived with her husband for 46 years and had six daughters. Last Thursday, Padre German married the couple in their home, On Sunday, I dropped off a communion minister to give her communion. Monday, she died.

One person noted that, after the marriage, she was in the grace of God after living in “union libre” for so many years. 

It is not uncommon for couple to live together for decades without getting married, either civilly or in the church. The causes are many – the costs of civil marriage, the expectations that a marriage involves a costly celebration, the lack of a culture of marriage, the lack of attention to remote villages by priests (except for those, who like our pastor, make an effort to visit them), unrealistic expectations of what marriage involves, overly strict church requirements (which are slowly changing), fear of commitment, machismo (why only one woman?), and more that I am not aware of.

But very often I come across people who have lived together for years and even for decades and are raising or have raised children with love and with a concern for their spiritual growth. So I have a very different approach.

At the funeral, I noted the 46 years of life together of the couple and the love they had shared with each other and with their children and grandchildren. I noted, with joy, that they had sanctified this love, explicitly inviting God into their life together, in the sacrament of matrimony which they had just shared.

I really need to do a little more study and reflection on this, since this happens so often.

Love between a couple and with their children is affirmed and brought into the life of God and the Church community through the sacrament of marriage. It’s God filling in what is lacking in our love and the community of faith present to witness this commitment and, hopefully, help them live their love together.

This becomes clear to me any number of times when I do pre-marriage interviews. There are some couples who have not lived together, but most often the couples preparing for marriage have lived together and have children. A good number of them have had their children baptized before their sacramental marriage.

Some of them I’ve known for a few years and I’ve encouraged them to consider sacramental marriage. I sometimes ask, with a mischievous gleam in my eye, when are you getting married in the church. It is a real joy when that happens.

And it is a joy when I baptize children, especially ones I know. This Sunday it was nine children under seven in Plan Grande. This is but part of my ministry here. 

In about half an hour I have another workshop to help different communities organize in the face of possible natural disasters - another part of my diaconal ministry. Yesterday’s workshop went very well.

Now, off to ministry.