Here I am - in Honduras

I am here in Honduras. I am NOT stuck here. I am here, by the grace of God.

I want to make one thing clear to all those I know.

I have been asked many times by Hondurans, “How long will you be here?” My response has been, “Hasta que Dios quiera”.  This is the closest to my response when people in the US asked me when I discerned that I would go to Honduras, “Until God calls me somewhere else.” I sometimes would add that this might mean until I die here.

That is still my hope – remaining here until God calls me elsewhere.

I lived through the 2009 coup and am now living in the midst of COVID -19. I have no plans of leaving.

First of all, I believe this is where God continues to call me to serve. When I came here in 2007, I came to be of service to those most in need, as I explained to my spiritual director and some close friends. I still try to do that, even when it seems difficult.

Secondly, I was ordained a permanent deacon in the diocese of Santa Rosa de Copán in June 2016. I am no longer a volunteer in the diocese (though I don’t get paid by them.) As a deacon, I have a permanent commitment to the diocese that was made clear during the ordination. I am not a free agent but owe obedience (listening attentively) to the church, speaking through the bishop.

Thirdly, in 2018 I got the equivalent of permanent residency. My Honduran Id lists my status as “inmigrado”. I have not given up my US citizenship, but I no longer have temporary residence (of five years or so.) I am a part of this society.

Many US volunteers here register with the US Embassy. I have not and I don’t intend to. I am not here as a US citizen but as a member of the universal (Catholic) Church. My identity is first of all as a follower of Jesus in the Catholic Church.

So, here I am.

While I’m here I will do what I can to serve God and God’s people, the poor.

It’s a little harder now since I am stuck at home in the 24 hour per day eight day curfew – though I have walked outside and spoken (with the appropriate social spacing) with neighbors and friends. I visited the parish coffee field yesterday – which is in bloom. 

Today I stopped at a pulpería to get some time on my phone. I also stopped by the mayor’s house and told him that he could call on me if there was a need – even for transportation (since my pick up’s tank is full.)

I have no idea how long this curfew and the other restrictions will go on. I do have enough food for about a week (with a bit of Lenten austerity). The electricity and water are still functioning. I have gas for the stove and bottled water, which I hope will be enough. And, unlike many neighbors, I have internet access.

During these days, I am reading a lot, praying a fair amount, washing clothes and cleaning the house. I have two writing projects for the parish – but right now I don’t have the concentration I need to do them well.

As usual, I am in the middle of reading several books.

Before this craziness began here, I felt a need for a retreat and started reading Abide in the Heart of Christ; A 10-Day Personal Retreat with St. Ignatius Loyola, by Joe Laramie S.J. It’s a popularized form of the first week of St. Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises and was good for me.

Because I am supposed to write the parish Stations of the Cross, I started reading Caryll Houselander’s The Way of the Cross, which I’m finding very helpful – personally.

Yesterday I picked up Albert Camus’s The Plague, a novel I had read in the 1960s which had a major effect on my commitment to a faith seeking justice. I’ve read about half of it – even though it’s not an easy read. But it has helped me try to understand what is happening.

I am also in the middle of Ann Garrido’s Let’s Talk about Truth: A Guide for Preachers, Teachers, and Other Catholic Leaders in a World of Doubt and Discord. Stimulating.

Two unfinished books are J A Pagola’s Jesús: una aproximación histórica (which I have been going through slowly for more than a year) and John O’Donohue’s  Anam Cara: a book of Celtic Wisdom (suggested by my confessor).

I wish I had a good mystery novel that was a fast read, a diversion from all the seriousness. I’ll have to look.

(By the way, except for Camus’s The Plague, the other books are on Kindle. I brought Camus down with me since it and a collection of his essays, Resistance, Rebelling, and Death, have played a major role in who I am.)

Meantime, I am on the internet (too much), I have written a few friends, and I have called a few folks. But what I really long to do is to be with the people. How I do this, in a way that is not risky for them, I have to think about and wait for opportunities that God puts in my way. I have to wait patiently. 

In the meantime, let us pray for each other.

At this time, I would invoke the intercession of Saint Raphael the Archangel who accompanied Tobiah on his journey and healed his father Tobit. He is patron of the sick and healers. He is also the patron of the church where I was baptized, Saint Raphael’s in the Meadows in Philadelphia (which no longer exists), and he is the patron of the Archdiocese of Dubuque. (I served for almost 24 years in a parish and student center in the archdiocese.) May Saint Raphael guide us and heal the world.

Icon from Printery House of Concepcion Abbey