Not the subtlest barrier

“Our times are firmly in tune with Christianity, in that suffering is part of their character... They help us genuinely and completely to accept the vow of poverty, to seek no rule, but rather anarchy, the anarchic life of Fools for Christ’s sake, seeking no monastic enclosure but rather the complete absence of even the subtlest barrier which might separate the heart from the world and its wounds.”  (Mother Maria Skobtsova, 1938)

When the bishop asked me in 2014 if I would consider the permanent diaconate, I shared with him one of my serious concerns. Would being a deacon separate me from the people I serve? Would it create more barriers between them and me? 

I recognize that there are barriers. I don’t speak Spanish perfectly and my accent sometimes confuses some people. I am a vegetarian, among people who seldom eat meat but who often offer meat to visitors (especially the clergy). I have money in a bank account, while many people are struggling to survive. I have a US passport and can go to the US whenever I want (though now there are the COVID-19 requirements for entry into the US), whereas many people here would love to have the opportunity to work in the US to provide a better life for their families. I can leave whenever I want. I can go to the US and get the COVID vaccine, whereas most here may not receive the vaccine for months, if not years. 

These are some of the potential barriers between the people here in the countryside and me. They are real differences, but they can become ways to separate me from the people. 

It has helped that I was serving in the parish even before I began discernment about the diaconate. I think my sense of humor has helped bridge the differences since they know that I love to joke, sometimes at my own expense. Bringing candy to meetings doesn't hurt. 

But what helps me most is the conviction that God is working among the people and I am called to accompany them, to help them see the signs of God’s love amid their joys and sufferings. In addition, I have been blessed to be opened to the wisdom and the love that they have. I have learned from them. We are sisters and brothers on the way with God. 

For this, I am most grateful. And so I continually ask God to help break down any barriers, even the subtlest.