5. The undivided heart of the married and celibate deacon
As a celibate permanent deacon, I continually struggle to be faithful to my promise of celibacy. It’s not easy; I fail and sin, but I seek God’s forgiveness and strength to be a sign of Christ the Servant.
To help me in my personal growth as well as to better understand celibacy, I recently read Donald Cozzens’ Freeing Celibacy. The author is clearly open to married priests in the Latin rite of the Catholic Church. (Interestingly, he writes nothing here about married deacons.) But he writes very positively about what he calls “charismatic celibacy.” I’ll return to this and a few other points in future posts.
A few months ago I wrote about what the celibate deacon can learn from married deacons. Cozzens ’critique of arguments often given for celibacy have helped me to think more deeply about both married and celibate deacons. Though he was writing about mandatory celibacy for priests, his arguments may help us lay aside some approaches to celibacy that need to be carefully critiqued.
CELIBACY FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD
In the ordination rite, the bishop asks the celibate candidates:
…are you resolved, as a sign of your interior dedication to Christ, to remain celibate for the sake of the kingdom and in lifelong service to God and mankind? [Italics mine]
I was very happy to be able to say, “Si, quiero. – Yes. I wish so.”
For me, the Kingdom of God is central to Jesus’s ministry. He came and preached that “The Kingdom has come near” (Mathew 3:2). As I understand this, Jesus came and revealed the Kingdom in his life and his being. I believe that we are called to be signs of that Kingdom in all we do – both as individuals and as the church.
But Cozzens pointedly asks, “Does [the argument of celibacy for the kingdom] not reveal an outdated dualistic theological anthropology?... Is there not an implicit assertion that married priests are less committed to the kingdom of heaven? Finally, are not all sacramental marriages oriented to the kingdom of heaven? Finally, are not all Christians, because of their baptismal dignity, committed to the kingdom of heaven?” (Cozzens, 98)
We are all called to live the Kingdom in our lives. The centrality of the Kingdom is not an argument for celibacy – but it might help us clear up what should be the focus of celibacy: living for the Kingdom and living the Kingdom.
AN UNDIVIDED HEART
Cozzens also mentions that one argument given for obligatory celibacy is that celibacy is a sign of an undivided heart. The celibate can concentrate on love of God.
I think that the argument that celibacy is a way for the cleric to be solely fixed on God may be one of the most problematic arguments.
Canon 277.1 of the Canon Law of the Church states: “Celibacy is a special gift of God by which sacred ministers can more easily remain close to Christ with an undivided heart, and can dedicate themselves more freely to the service of God and their neighbor.”
In the Rite of ordination, the bishop notes that” “By this consecration you will adhere more easily to Christ with an undivided heart; you will be more freely at the service of God and mankind, and you will be more untrammeled in the ministry of Christian conversion and rebirth.”
I’m not sure that celibacy makes it easier to remain close to Christ, but it does remind us of the need to adhere to Christ with all our heart. I’ll return to this in a later post, reflecting on Psalm 16:2: “My happiness lies in You alone,” from the perspective of a celibate deacon.
But still I wonder if the “undivided heart” argument is sometimes interpreted in dualistic, Manichean ways. To repeat what Cozzens writes about “celibacy for the Kingdom”:
Who can attest that the heart of the married deacon (or the married priests of the Eastern Rites or the married priests who were ministers before becoming Catholic)? And who can say that a married person’s heart is divided?
I think that what is at stake here is a question of spirituality.
I would suggest that married people’s hearts might also be undivided because they have an incarnational spirituality which moves them to see and respond to God present in their spouse.
When asked by a scholar of the Law, Jesus identified the greatest commandment:
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22: 37-40)
These commandment of love are not seen in competition, nor merely as complementary. They are, I believe, essentially united. They are intimately linked as John says in his first letter (1 John 4: 20-21) “Whoever does not love ta brother he has seen cannot love God he hasn’t see…. “Whoever loves God must also love his brother.”
Maybe, then, instead of contrasting the celibate and the married person, we need to look at another metaphor. Rather than speak about the undivided heart, might it be better to speak about the heart big enough to love, to love God above all and one’s neighbor as oneself.
The married deacon makes it clear that love in the family, married love, is a place where God is made known and where God’s love is made real. Daily he is challenged to love his family and in that way let the love of God be made known in the world.
The celibate deacon can claim to love God – but is his love really love or is it a form of self-satisfying individualism? That’s a question I often ask myself.
What is needed is a deeper understanding of celibacy, especially for the celibate deacon. What is the charism of celibacy? More on this in later posts.
CELIBACY IS NOT MOSTLY FUNCTIONAL
One way to interpret the argument of the undivided heart is to postulate that the cleric has more time for all that is demanded in the service of God. Some suggest that celibacy helps clerics “more freely dedicate themselves to the service of God and humankind?” (Cozzens, 99). But I think that is a merely functional argument.
But, unless there is a deep spirituality of celibate love, the celibate cleric may not easily resist the temptations of seeking control, being a free agent. He might resent the demands and the needs of others instead of seeing then as opportunities for him to let the love of God shine through him. Without the demands of caring for a spouse and a family, he could easily take his desires as absolutes and close himself on himself. This may happen in marriages, but the temptation is strong to consider oneself the center of the universe or, at the very least, the parish. I know.
CELIBACY AS A WAY OF LOVE AND INTIMACY
The challenge is to understand celibacy as a way of love and intimacy. Donal Dorr in a 2004 article on celibacy in The Furrow (55 [3]) noted that “All of us are called to be loving people.” (p. 138)
But how to we live this love? That is a crucial question and a challenge for all followers of Christ.
In addition, it's important to recognize that celibate love must involve intimacy. As Cozzens writes:
“Celibacy is not an alternative to intimacy, but a different — often a more difficult — way of achieving intimacy. Anyone who is celibate must make a commitment to developing a love that is deeply personal as well as universal in scope.
“Intimacy involves being present to the other with transparency and trust.” (141)
And so the challenge is to articulate a spirituality of celibacy that is truly loving of God, truly embracing all of life, and which involves real intimacy.
I’ll try to write on this in future posts.
Previous posts on celibacy
“The Joy of Love for Celibates,” October 22, 2015
“The Promise of Celibacy,” July 3, 2016 https://hermanojuancito.blogspot.com/2016/07/promise-of-celibacy.html
“Celibacy and Holy Orders I: Some misunderstandings of the celibate deacon,” January 13, 2020
“Celibacy and Holy Orders II: Celibacy and Latin Rite Catholic priests: an exception for the Amazon? Why permanent deacons probably aren’t enough?” January 16, 2020
“Celibacy and Holy Orders III: The married deacon’s challenge to the celibate deacons,” Janaury 17, 2020.
“Celibacy and Holy Orders IV: Two new books for celibate clerics,” January 31, 2020
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