Tuesday, November 03, 2020

CELIBACY AND THE DEACON VI

6. The celibate deacon as older brother 

 Recently I watched a You Tube video in which a celibate permanent deacon in Spain spoke about his vocation. He carefully distinguished the vocation of a permanent deacon from the vocation to the priesthood. 

In the course of the video he spoke about the spiritual fatherhood of the deacon. I have problems with this. 

The permanent deacon who is a father of a family can show the church how to be a father, bringing his fatherhood to his ministry, inspiring other fathers to see their vocation in the raising of their children, with their wives. He can show a way of being father that is not dominating, that derives its authority from his paternal love and not from the title of father. He, together with his wife, can guide their children in the ways of faith, showing them how to integrate the life of faith in the family.

But the celibate deacon, who enters the diaconate as a single person, does not manifest this charism. He does not have paternal authority over children, youth, or adults. He is not there every day to guide others in their daily lives.

I think a better image for the celibate permanent deacon is that of the older brother.

I write this reluctantly since I am an only child and so have not experienced having an older brother or being an older brother, but, observing other families, I dare to make a few observations. If my remarks are too idealistic, please help me to make them more realistic. 

As I see it, a true older brother looks out after his younger siblings, sometime protecting them, sometimes giving them advice, sometimes warning them. He looks after their well-being, not as one who can command them (if he is not domineering or a bully), but as one who has had some experience of life and wants to share it with a sister or brother. 
 
A true older brother encourages his siblings, urging them on when they are faced with difficulties, encouraging them as they succeed, opening up their eyes to possibilities that they may have never dreamed of, pointing out pitfalls as they grow up.

A true older brother should be an example, an icon of what it means to be a child in a family and a child of God, how to live as brothers and sisters, children of the heavenly Father.

As a celibate deacon I can encourage my siblings, other members of the People of God, to live lives worthy of their calling (Ephesians 4:1) as I try to live my life.

Those who are not clergy are called to live their lives in the world, sanctifying the world in their lives and in their jobs. 

Most permanent deacons have jobs outside the Church, which I think is critical. They, like the laity, are called to sanctify the world in their jobs. 

Yet, as deacons, they come to the altar as persons who mostly live and work outside the walls of the church. They bring the world of work to the world of prayer, making visible the connection between the altar and the world of work. 

They can then speak to their co-workers as “siblings,” showing them a way to sanctify the world in their work. 

They do not come to the altar or the pulpit to order someone to live their faith in a particular way. They come to show in their lives how to live as a child of God in the world. They come to offer the advice of an older brother, intent on the good of the family (the People of God) and the fullness of life of their sisters and brothers.

As I think about this, I recall the words of Pope Saint Paul VI and Pope Saint John Paul II, describing the deacon as “the animator,” “a driving force” of diaconia in the church.

Can we celibate permanent deacons be the animators, the older brothers who accompany our sisters and brothers in our vocation as Church to serve God and to serve the world?

There are my initial thoughts. Obviously, I need to reflect more on this and to look at Vatican II’s “Decree on the Laity” as well as Pope St. John Paul II’s apostolic exhortation Christifideles laici. But these words might spur us to develop a deeper spirituality of the celibate permanent deacon.

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